| Behind Closed Doors by L J Norman | |
| Rated G - Short Stories - Published: 10/04/09 09:08 PM - Updated: 10/04/09 09:08 PM - Status: Complete - Size: 3.12 kb | |
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| “I admit it I schemed behind your back. What did you expect me to do though? After all, it isn’t though I had much choice. You left me with no choice but to do what I did.” I sipped my coffee and stared out the window. I saw a couple walk past arm in arm and very much in love. That was us once upon a time. Closing my eyes I longed for the simplicity of those days before the lull of normal life and bills clouded the ‘loved up’ feeling. I could feel your eyes burning as you longed to reach out and squeeze my hand. I recoiled back into but as I stared back at you I just didn’t know if that was enough anymore. I was stuck. I knew if I walked away I’d never love another the way I loved you. Quite simply you were the love of my life. Yet after all these years together I never even knew if I was yours. I felt loved don’t get me wrong and boy! The sex was electric. I even shudder now thinking of how nibble my neck but that doesn’t matter now. Even if we did fall into bed it wouldn’t change a thing. You’re waiting for me to talk some more. To give a detailed explaination to what went wrong and how we can fix it. I can see the betrayal that echoes in your eyes and for a brief moment I feel a twinge of guilt. Maybe it is all my fault in a way. I must be a nightmare to live with. I’m scatty, absent minded and can forget to leave the top off the toothpaste but you didn’t mind that at first. I wonder what changed. Suddenly I long for a cigarette. Just to stand shivering in a doorway as the nicotine rushes through my system might clear this confused state I’m in right now. “Please!” You beg me again. I try and remember what we used to be but it just isn’t enough. I can feel the tears swelling up in my eyes. “Don’t do this. We can make it work. You’ll see. Things will improve. I promise. Fresh start yes?” You smiled your usual winning smile but this time it didn’t work. In fact it would never work on me again. “I’m sorry. It’s too late.” “I love you and I know you love me.” “Yes I do and always will but it’s too late.” I felt cold tears falling down my cheeks and as much as I ached to be in your arms again I knew it could never happen.”I’ve got to go now.” I sighed standing up. I didn’t want to leave but I didn’t want to stay either. “You left me with no choice.” I whispered as I forced myself to leave. Every step I took hurt and I had to stop myself from running back into your arms. “Don’t look back. Don’t look back.” I wept as I shut the door behind me. “This is the start of your new life. You can go anywhere. Be anyone. You’re free!” Yet I all I wanted to be was back in that room with you. All I wanted was you but it was too late. I could feel the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘if only s’ as they raced around my head as if trying to find away to claw things back but as I looked behind me once more I knew it didn’t matter the damage was done. The bruises on my face would fade any day now but the memory and the consequences of your actions would remain. I knew next time the visiting order came through the post this time it would go straight into the bin…. |
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