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Lake rain Vajra

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crawl inside by Lake e. Lou

crawl inside


let me crawl inside you
let me know your horror & loss
let me return once
to what i knew
teach me your fears & emptiness

did the others turn away
arms & smiles closed to you
has your skin changed then

strange how we shrink
strange how we hollow & fall into ourselves
fill with dust & ashes

teach me your strength, your guilt,
your innocence

take me out of your box
no more blood-lettings
when i try to come in to you

let me collect the pieces
from the bedroom floor
dark attic

it's your eyes that search for pain
pluck them out & leave me blind
it's your hands that scratch for blood
let me put you together
in a shape that suits us both

over & over i invent you
clay shape, growing limbs, fed in darkness
moth, wingspan to fly fly fly away

i'll rip your lips into a smile yet
a humble laughter

give me your hand, gentle fingers
that i may wrench out of sight
wrapped tight behind you
no arms to hold or thrust away
bound quick, they blue & fall
handless child, smile mine

then i will retrieve all those unread puzzles
tossed about your feet
piece them together in my own order
read them as i may

1992

by Lake e. Lou


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