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Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Fran Lebowitz Quotes & Quotations
Fran Lebowitz
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  • 1
    All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 2
    Andy Warhol made fame more famous. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 3
    As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 4
    Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 5
    Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 6
    Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 7
    Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 8
    Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 9
    Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 10
    Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 11
    Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 12
    Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 13
    Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 14
    Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 15
    Humility is no substitute for a good personality. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 16
    I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 17
    I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 18
    I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 19
    I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 20
    I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. Fran-LebowitzFran Lebowitz
  • 21
    If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 22
    If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 23
    If you're going to America, bring your own food. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 24
    Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 25
    My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 26
    My favorite animal is steak. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 27
    Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 28
    Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 29
    No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 30
    Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 31
    Polite conversation is rarely either. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 32
    Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 33
    Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 34
    Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 35
    Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 36
    Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 37
    The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 38
    The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 39
    Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 40
    Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. Fran-Lebowitz/">Fran Lebowitz
  • 41
    When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough. Fran-Lebowitz/41.php">Fran Lebowitz
  • 42
    You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do. Fran-Lebowitz/42.php">Fran Lebowitz
  • 43
    Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. Fran-Lebowitz/43.php">Fran Lebowitz